Because Maybe You Don't Think

I hate when you say that about me. 

I hate that you think that way about me. 

So many times. 

So many ways. 

It doesn't help. 

I was having a good day. 

I don't think you meant to do it,

but it's your fault this time. 

It's never been your fault. 

Not this way. 

I just want to scream

and shake you

and hit you.

Hit some since into you. 

It shouldn't make me this mad. 

But it does.

I try 

and try

and try

and try

so hard. 

In two opposite directions. 

What do you want from me?

Look, it's this way. 

I'm sorry, Okay??

I'm fucking sorry. 

What do you expect to say?

How am I supposed to feel?

Compliments..pfft.

Those aren't compliments. 

I Can't Stand This. 

Stop it, please. 

Please. 

You don't get it. 

Maybe you think that,

because I Don't tell you everything. 

I should.

I think I've tried. 

I have.

I can't get far enough because You get in the way. 

You. 

I can't hurt you,

I couldn't bear to hurt you. 

I love you, it's true.

But I need to talk to you about this. 

About so many things.

And this is why you can't get past this snag. 

This small little cliff you've created in your mind. 

You can't decide wh

ether you want to push me off

or jump and leave me behind. 

There's so much I need to say. 

I much I want you to understand. 

So much I want to change. 

Please. 

Please let me do that. 

Please don't ever do this again. 

I can't do this anymore.