~Miss You~

 I hang up the phone onto its hook and curl up in bed. My arm hurts from having held it to my ear for so long. My smile that I held for so long begins to fade and the happiness I'd built up from talking to him fades with it. My heart breaks all over again because I can't feel his prescence. I can't hear his voice and I can't see his beautiful eyes. I can't touch his skin and know he's there. 

       What if he dies tonight? He doesn't know how much I love him. I can't put in words how much I love him, no expanse of emotion and letters and numbers and music could ever tell him how much I cared for him, how much I loved that I was loved by such a... such a beautiful man. Such a gorgeous guy, inside and out. No matter what he's done, did, and will do, he will forever be in my heart. He's so beautiful in my eyes. 

       My heart breaks when his breaks, it breaks more when I can't find a way to make him smile. His sadness is my own and I don't like being sad. I love hearing his crazy laugh, I love seeing his beautiful eyes lit up, I love seeing his wonderful smile. I love loving him. I love hearing his little whispers and his big talk. I love being protected and cared about.

~Remind of You ♥ ♥~

There are so many things i wish i could constantly remind you of.       

      Please don't take life too seriously, please don't assume the worst of people, please don't worry about being left alone, please don't dwell on the past.It's funny how someone can teach you so much, but learn nothing.      

       Let me tell you that you're fantastic, let me make a difference for you, let me show you that there is no reason to feel like the world has been out to get you all this time, because there are ways that you have been blessed by this world. You are brilliant. you are, you are, you are stubborn. you are a reason to laugh. a reason.  you are not perfect, and I think you are confusing yourself with someone else.        

      I want to remind you that i will never forget your birthday, and I will always want to know how you're feeling, and i will never call you a liar, and I will always try and show you the bright side.I want you to know that you are wanted.   

Love from me. close by, or far away

Fall'in to you

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say:
I love you.

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In my room, do you remember
Heartbeat, "StereoSkyline"
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight.

Him ♥

because i am strangely in love, i wanted to share some words with you about him. i won't say his name, but he's mentioned in one of my articles. so here it goes:

he's the sun of my sky, the shine of my eyes and the smile on my face. he's the tears that come down my face whenever i think of him, because lovely enough we live so far away. holidays dreadful. i want hang out.

i want hang out for one reason. him.
actually, i want to smell his hair again. i want to gaze into his beautiful hazel eyes again. i want to hear his smiles in what he writes. i want to see him swear over the littlest things. i want his arms around me. i want to taste his lips again. i want us to hold hands again. i want us to talk about the randomnest things again. i want us to go outside when it's raining, just to go to our secretplace again. i want to sneak in the foodcourt at lunch to do our work together while people are looking for us again. i want the security to tell us to keep it down, because of my uncontroled laugh when he starts to eat the noodles. i miss him.

i also miss all the times he made me laugh. i also miss the times where he called me at 4 in the morning, just to talk.

distance is a dumb, and phonebills too.

Holidays is dreadful without him, all i want is him.
call him my romeo and i'll be juliet, but still, i've never felt anything like this before.
i love him :)

You are Mine, ♥

HeartBeat  by Stereo Skyline. That was OUR song. We were never together, but that was OUR song. 

we sang it with look at eachother that night we were at my window. The time I got grounded from ever opening it again. I'm pretty sure this relationship is a broken record. Once again, you guys are close again. I hope it's not like how you guys were when you were dating, and I hope it's not close like we were. I mean, I guess I understand how you could totally blow me off for her, I've done it  for you. I wish she'd just stop. All she's gonna do is hurt you again. And I'm gonna be the only one there for you to talk to. I don't know if you know how painful it is for me to sit there and listen to you tell me about her. I mean we have so many memories, I know you have more with her(my sister) but I'm sure ours are happier. I'm not saying you shouldn't be with her, I'm just saying I don't want you too. I wish I could tell you how I feel. You know I like you, but do you know I never stopped liking since the night I met you last months? Do you know you're all I think about ? Do you know I cried when I saw you walking with her(my sister)? Do you know I died laughing when you told me  why you weren't talking to me? I died laughing because you're whipped, and it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It made sense to all who know her(my sister), but to anyone else, it wouldn't. And I really don't think me and you talking is going to ruin your relationship with her(my sister). She is a good girl(I know my sister so deeply), and you think she's gonna leave you coz her own(Im so sorry sis,its all my fault ~O~).Im so happy you'r belong with me(although the way i get you,i must hurt you my lovely sister, im so so sorry)

I pretty myself up just to think

When I get bored I start thinking, and you can't just sit there and think. Not in my house at least, so I go in my room, straighten my hair and think. I'm sure not far from now my hair is gonna be like fried and along with it is going to be my brain, It's like maybe straightening my hair will help straighten my thoughts, but it never works, but I keep trying, and my hair is gonna die, and maybe I'll go along with it.

You're the one who keeps me here, I hope can only hope you know that. You say our love is impossible, but making the impossible possible is my favorite thing to do. Baby I love you. ♥

You look so dumb right now

Standing outside my house.
Trying to apologise
You're so ugly when you cry.
Please, just cut it out.

You put on quite a show
Really had me going.

It's a little to late, I'm a little too gone, a little too tired of just trying to hang on to you. Trying to tell myself we will be together. I'm going to let you go. It's not up to you anymore wether you decide if I'm in your life or not. Maybe one day when I do actually matter to you, maybe you could tell me. That way I can just throw it back in your face. Perhaps you'll be as hurt as me. Then again, maybe not. So from now on, when you start to think of me.. Just think, you could of had me. I'm long gone now. Peace out. ♥

I can see it in your eyes

Deep inside you wanna cry.

Cos' your scared

When I'm not there.

God watching in your prayers.♥

There's always a little truth behind "just kidding."  

A little knowledge behind "I don't know."

A little emotion behind "I don't care."

A little pain behind "I'm alright."

I'm proud to say I got you

A place to fall down. I got you

No need to ask. I got you

Just get on the phone. I got you

Come and pick you up if I have to.

What's weird about it,

Is we're right at the end. 

And mad about it.

Just figured it out in my head.

I'm proud to say.. I got you. 

Go ahead and say goodbye, I'll be alright.

Go ahead and make me cry, I'll be alright.

And when you need a place, to run to..

for better for worse I got you ♥

~Alone,Alone~

I always needed you to stand by my side

You reach out your hand but this time its alright

Cause I fell on my own

Let me stand up alone 

Cause this time

I trust myself

Why should I rely

On someone else

So I'm finding all the missing parts

Cleaning up my broken heart

Should have known it from the start

if you fall too fast

you hit the ground hard.

All of these tears will do me no good

I pull myself together

Like I wish you would

Cause I fell on my own

I need to stand up alone

Cause this time 

I trust myself

Why should I 

Rely on someone else

So I'm finding all the missing parts

Cleaning up my broken heart

Should of known it from the start

If you fall too fast

You hit the ground hard

I guess you didn't have the same dreams as mine

And if you want to leave

Go ahead that's fine

But take this with you

Your deceiving and lies

And by the way all I have to say is

Better luck next time 

Cause now

I trust myself so I won't

Rely on someone else

To find all the missing parts

Clean up my broken heart

Should of known it from the start

If you fall too fast, cause I fell too fast

And I hit the ground hard.

~Eight Ways To Win My Heart~

1-Give me your heart
If you give me your heart i will love you forever and always.

2-Be honest to me.
Be honest and do not try and pretend to be someone your not,
i will without doubt become hurt if you lied.

3-Send me a morning text.
Honestly, when people do this,
I want to kiss them...
I miss being senting these by someone.

4- Watch basic love with me.
This is my fave film, so watch this with me
 i will with out doubt marry you.

5-Play with my hair.
This is my passion in life,
If you brush my hair and play with it
I will give you my heart.

6- Smiles.
Make me smile, just by smiling.
There is a few people who can do this.
And one of them truly has the most beautiful smile in the world.
He has no idea about this, but everytime he smiles
I smile back no matter what.
Oh and dimples,
I think i need them...

7- Cuddle me
Give me a cuddle, when i need it.
And i will love you.

8- Take my breathe away.
You must find this out yourself. 

Through the years

At the time of writing I am...

16 years old.

197 months old.

859 weeks old.

6014 days old.

144, 336 hours old.

8, 660, 187 minutes old. 

519, 606, 068 seconds old.

This time is so long for some and so little for others. 

In this time, I have done so much.

I have smiled and laughed.

I have been loved, and loved others.

I have tried skateboarding, and fell off.

I have thrown up on the street because I drank too much hot chocolate.

I have drawn amazing lyrics on my wrists and hands and arms.

I have done such horrible things to myself.

I have made friends, and lost friends.

I have lied.

But there is so much more I want to do.

I want to watch the sun rise.

I want to have the guts to tell people that I love them.

I want to be able to go outside on my own and not be wary of other people.

I want to meet every single person that I admire.

I want to change the world, so much.

I want to be rich and famous.

I want to just live and breathe and try not to die or care about anything.

I want to hug every single on of my friends in person.

I want to smile and laugh some more.

I want to be successful in everything I do.

I want to be appreciated for who I am, and who I want to be.

Introduce Myself

Hi, I'm cassie renatavia
you can call me cassie,rena,or via

I'm short.

My hair is brown. It almost never does what I want it to.
I have dark brown eyes,but i used blue softlens
I adapt easily.
I'm a little shy.
I'm  full of confidence, but I compare myself to other people.
I love to write.
I love photography, but I'm not very good at it.
I'm not good at sports.
In fact, there are a lot of things I'm not good at.
There are a lot of things I would like to be.
I'm not the skinniest girl, or the prettiest.
I'm not perfect.
I'm just me.

I'm sorry

you talk to me so sweetly

as if you might care

i check my FB every two seconds

just to see if you're there

when i see that you're not

my heart starts to fall

then up pops your name

i can't remember the heartache at all

you make me feel like i'm someone

that i deserve my life

you make me feel so happy

you give me this unique light

that i can't find anywhere else

no where on this earth

and when you say you have to go

the heartache then returns

and this cycle keeps on going

and it's makes me feel alive

i love knowing that you're there for me

even at the strangest times

because you're someone so very special

that i love to think about

i love writing you name in my wrist

i just want to shout it out

i wish i could hug you now

so i wasn't so damn cold

and i want to say i love you

but that may seem to forward 

i'm sorry for what i've done

and i'm sorry for being me

but i really do care oh so much

would you ever be able to forgive me?

Something

Something so strong it feels like magic.

Something so great everyone wants to have it.

Something nothing else can compare too.

By far the best thing that ever happened to you.

Theres no words to describe it,

Nothing to explain it,

It takes 2 people to make it

One person to feel it

And someone to say it.

Eight letters,

Three words

One meaning.

I love you.

Best Friend [Me and Chika]

you know what.

im not the skinniest

or the prettiest

or the smartest

or the nicest

or the most amazing girl you will ever meet.

but the thing is

i have these amazing people in my life called friends.

and they accept me for who i am, my flaws and all.

and that is better than any other gift, or feature, or talent.

because beauty faids, and dreams end, and when you dont have friends waiting for you at the finish line, in the end, you have nothing but glory, but what is glory without friends to share it with ? 

i love my friends :D

Selflessness

So there are so many good people in the world,

People that make sure others are the best they possibly can be,

People that put everyone before themselves,

People who would jump off a cliff to save some elses life.

To all the people like this in the world, i would just like to say ;;

You matter too,

Sometimes, you have to put yourself first

Sometimes, your the only person that has to matter

Sometimes, its okay to be a little bit selfish

Sometimes, its not up too you to make someone else happy,

Because in the end, you matter too. (:

I know alot of people like this, and my sister is one of them, she constantly puts others before herself, especially me, she is such a great person, the best sister anyone could have. I loveee you ^^

Dont be afraid

Its okay to be different.

Its okay to stand out

Sometimes, being different is the one thing you wish you could not be,

But i would rather people stare at me, and talk about me because im different,

Than have people stare and look, and say how im just like everybody else.

Unique is a good thing,

Different is inspiring

Originality is something to show

Not something to hide

Sometimes loud is okay

Sometimes all you need to do, is relax, and be yourself.. because at the end of the day, being yourself is the best person to be, and nobody can do it better than you can.

So have courage, and don't be afraid to shine.

True happiness

So, i think to be truely happy

It only takes yourself

It doesnt take other people

It doesnt take materialistic things

It doesnt take money

It doesnt take anything, except for the simplest thing, the easiest thing, the one thing that  no matter where you are, or what you're doing. it only takes you.

Lately, i havent been the happiest person,

And just recently, i stopped caring

and that is when i realised, that in not caring, letting people think what they want, say what they want, do what they want, i have become truely happy. Because i dont care anymore, and when you stop caring, they stop trying to bring you down.